


Taking That Last Step (Because You'll Be There to Catch Me)

by paradigm_twist



Series: SJ Pornathon 2012 [5]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mindless Fluff, Prompt Fic, Rare Pairings, Sappy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-25
Updated: 2013-04-25
Packaged: 2017-12-09 11:42:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/773812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradigm_twist/pseuds/paradigm_twist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the improbable suddenly seemed possible, and all you ever wanted to do is take that leap and hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taking That Last Step (Because You'll Be There to Catch Me)

**Author's Note:**

> sjpornathon bonus challenge (prompt: music) week 1. 
> 
> Song that inspired this is [Catch Me by Demi Lovato](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMBdfOpn0N0).

Everything they have done has built up to this very moment. No matter how much Heechul wanted to avoid this, _all of this_ , he was still a masochist right up till the very end.

It was always the same. He saw no reason why it wouldn't be any different this time.

He would meet a new man (always a set up by his nosy friends). They would meet for coffee the first few times. Heechul would make fun and hurl biting remarks at them just to see what their reactions would be (but really it was just easier hiding behind a defensive facade than it was to bare yourself when it came to avoiding awkward initial meetings). They would move on to proper dates (they always do. Damn his friends for knowing his type so well.). Dinners and movies. Chocolates and flowers. Heechul would complain loudly about how he resented being treated like a cliché AND a girl but secretly, he relished the feeling of being taken care of. If he had a sappy grin plastered on his face every time he received a random _Thinking of you :)_ , well as long as no one caught him during those moments, Heechul could damn well enjoy them however he wanted to.

Eventually ( _every single time_ ), he would fall head over heels for them, heart bursting with emotions so strong that it felt as if they were going to smother him. In such a beautiful crushing way; the way love should feel like. So just when the words I love you were about to be uttered, his heart would stop.

Because the ending of his love story always ended in tragedy. Every time he handed his heart over on a silver platter, it was always unceremoniously beaten and stabbed. Bruised and battered, his heart bore the scars of both old and new, overlapping in a gossamer of lines, every heart beat pumping just a little bit of blood out through the sliced wounds, bleeding out just a little bit more with each rejection, bruises darkening alongside the blood with each _I don't think I can do this anymore_ and _We're just not the same_.

 _I just don't think we're right for each other after all_.

And so here he was, staring at Yesung, dumbstruck and blind-sided. Because this was the part where they broke up (and the cue for Heechul's heart to finally shatter and stomped into dust). Not for Yesung to take the next step further into the relationship by asking him to move in with him. That was impossible. No one ever wanted to be stuck with him for this long. He was too abrasive. Too loud. Too much to handle. Too everything and anything.

"What do you say Heechul? Please say yes."

Heechul's only response was to close his eyes and leaned in. The kiss was slow and tentative; as if Yesung wanted to quietly coax Heechul into agreeing (just like the time when Yesung had managed to convince him to take the water rides with him at the theme parks even though Heechul hated getting wet and messing up his hair). Heechul just sank into the kiss, fingers gripping Yesung's forearms tightly, worried that this was all a dream, an illusion, a trick of the mind to deal with the expected outcome. Because it was just too hard to believe, almost improbable, that this man was real and that he wanted him (just like the time when Yesung got Heechul cats for his birthday even though he knew Yesung preferred dogs).

"Say something 'Rella. Don't go all thoughtful on me now of all times," Yesung softly said as they broke apart.

Heechul looked up from the spot on Yesung's arm where he was tracing mindless circles and saw everything.

He saw the future they could have together. The living together. Bickering over breakfast and coffee like they did now and hiding smiles behind coffee mugs when they let each other win. Lazy mornings and even lazier nights. Curling into each other and talking about everything and nothing at all. Fighting over the remote even though all he really wanted to do was to just lay back and watch him. That domestic bliss he craved so badly but was so cruelly denied each time. In that instance, he knew that if he said no now, he would regret it. But only because he wanted to live in denial a little longer, wanted to push the inevitability a little bit further away. Even if it meant that the eventual fallout would finally killed him.

He didn't even realize that he was crying until he felt Yesung's thumb wiping his cheeks.

"You know I'm not like the others right? I'm not going to leave you. You're perfect. _Perfect for me_. I'm not stupid to let something like this go. I believe that. Have for a long time now. It's time you believe in that too."

For a moment, he felt something he hasn't felt in a long while. A warm feeling that crept and slowly wounded itself at the tiny corners of his heart, patching up the wounds little more securely, making his heart beat a little more steadily, a little more erratically (swaying to the rhythm of love).

 _Hope_.

He shook his head to clear the feeling away from his mind. But it was getting harder. Not when Yesung looked at him that way, all that love underneath the mixture of soft moonlight and the pale yellow street light that was streaming into the room. There was something almost magical about the moment and as crazy as it seemed, he really wanted desperately for what Yesung said to be true. That even someone like him deserved that rainbow ending and the rose gardens. Even if he knew deep down, the chances of that happily ever after was rapidly decreasing with every passing moment. He didn't want to think about the future, only wanted to breathe in and living in the now. Living in this moment.

So he squared his shoulders and stared right back at Yesung, voice ringing with a solid determination that he tried to believe in, as much as Yesung believed in them.

" _Yes. Yes to everything_."


End file.
